I just love finding more of these tech support calls that are incredibly
true and often very funny. Here are some more of those gems for your
pleasure:

Customer: "I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t
want my wife to think that it’s me."

Advisor: "I will remove them for you."

Customer: "How do I get them back when she is not in?"

———————————————————————-

Advisor: "Press any key to continue."

Customer: "I can’t find the ‘Any’ key."

———————————————————

Customer: "My mouse mat isn’t wired up."

Advisor: "I’m not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn’t have any
wires."

Customer: "Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?"

————————————————————

Customer: "I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone
number?"

————————————————————————-

Advisor: "You have spyware on your machine which is causing the problem."

Customer: "Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?"

——————————————————————————–

Customer: "How do I change channel on my monitor?"

Advisor: "Your monitor won’t have channels like a TV."

Customer: "But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now
I just get the word processing channel."

—————————————————————–

Advisor: "Can you click on ‘My Computer’?"

Customer: "I don’t have your computer, just mine."

——————————————————————-

Customer: "My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I
can’t get in."

Advisor: "Has he forgotten it?"

Customer: "No he just won’t tell me it because I’ve grounded him."

———————————————————————

Customer: "My iPod will only play one song."

Advisor: "Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes?"

Customer: "Do I need to download tracks?"

—————————————————–

Customer: "My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but
they can’t see me."

Advisor: "What brand is your webcam?"

Customer: "What’s a webcam?"

———————————————————————-

And that’s the Twilight Zone.

Twilight Zone: Stinky neighbors. In Torrance, Calif., the problem is
that there is a housing boom. That shouldn’t be a problem, of course,
but it is to the ever increasingly visible skunk population who are,
apparently, getting shoved out of their homes with all the building.
There was even one that hitched a ride in a rubble hose all the way to
Canada. They named her Dorothy. Think she ever found her ruby slippers?

Twilight Zone: Dorothy Stinks..So Say The Neighbors

TORRANCE, Calif. - Residents in this southern California city are
finding out that development stinks.

That’s because as more houses go up, more skunks come out. The city
has seen 1,398 housing units built in the past six years, and with it
came an increase in the black-and-white smelly creatures.

"We’re seeing more of them because their habitat is being destroyed,"
said Jeff Rudolph, El Segundo’s animal control officer.

Twilight Zone: Body Parts Delivery. And I thought the post office was
messed up!! DHL delivered packages containing some human body parts to a
residence instead of to the medical facility that it was supposed to go
to. The strange part? Well, that was, naturally. But there’s more. The
driver thought the bubble-wrap items were pieces to a table.

Seems the husband starts to unwrap the packages and sees what appears to
be a liver!! Gross! They called the sheriff’s office. So would I, after
the screaming, of course. Oh yeah, the rest of the body parts? Some
twenty eight packages? Gonna show up all over the country. It’s going to
be an interesting mail day for several days.

Twilight Zone: Body Parts Delivery

CASCADE TOWNSHIP, Mich. - Two packages containing human body parts -
including a liver and part of a head - meant for a medical research lab
instead were delivered to a home.

The body parts, sent from China, were mistakenly dropped off Thursday
at Franck and Ludivine Larmande’s home by a DHL express driver who
believed the bubble-wrapped items were pieces to a table.

"My husband started to unwrap one and said, ‘This is strange, it
looks like a liver,’" Ludivine Larmande said. "He started the second
one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear.

"Something wasn’t right. It was scary, and I’m glad I didn’t open
them."

The couple called Kent County sheriff’s deputies, who determined the
preserved body parts were for medical research, Lt. Roger Parent said.

Twilight Zone puts the light on WallyWorld and their new shoplifting
policy. Seems that if you shoplift less than 25 bucks, you are older
than 65 or younger than 18, you can have it and they won’t do a thing.
WOW! Time to go load up, guys!

Wal-Mart’s
Shocking new Shoplifting Policy

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, WakeUpWalMart.com, as reported by the New
York Times, revealed a new internal document which detailed Wal-Mart’s
recent changes to the company’s shoplifting policies.

The new changes abandon Sam Walton’s policy of ‘zero-tolerance,’ in
favor of a new policy which tells workers not to stop shoplifters for
items under $25. The internal Wal-Mart policy document was given to
WakeUpWalmart.com by a former Wal-Mart worker who is deeply concerned
with the negative effect this policy will have on other Wal-Mart
workers, the company, and the community.

According to the internal Wal-Mart document, the new shoplifting
policy has changed from “Shoplifter Apprehensions” to “Investigation and
Detention of Shoplifters.” In particular, the new shoplifting document
explains to Wal-Mart workers that “the guidelines for prosecution of
shoplifters have changed: the retail value of the merchandise recovered
must exceed $25, and the suspected shoplifter must be at or between the
ages of 18 and 65.”

The change in shoplifting policy is a dramatic departure from Sam
Walton’s policies. Sam Walton believed shoplifting was “one of the
biggest enemies of profitability in the retail business,” and even
linked employee bonuses to reducing the shrinkage in each Wal-Mart store.

Isn’t it time for WallyWorld execs to get a grip and get back to the
pride and values that Sam Walton had when he started that business? They
have gone so far in the other direction, it will take major changes in
policy quite unlike this type of change to make a difference. It may be
the biggest retailer worldwide but whoever is currently at the helm is
not running the show the way Walton had in mind. That is for certain.
When are they going to get a clue that it takes more than making gobs of
money and ripping off the public to make a good business. It takes
something that is definitely lacking in Wally business….integrity.

.

Twilight Zone: Ban on homework! San Jose, Calif. has gone totally nuts.
They have decided that student stress is too much and homework is the
culprit. They did leave alone reading, catch-up work and special
projects. Oh please. According to "those in the know" (I have no idea
WHAT they know. Apparently not much) homework "steals" the time the
children would be playing. Well BOO HOO. Are these people for real? One
thing. The parents that are particularly upset are in the wealthy
communities. Not a surprise there. Junior, born with the golden serving
spoon planted firmly in his incredibly huge mouth, complains that he has
too much homework, doesn’t have time to play the latest version of
"Grand Theft Auto".

Oh yeah, I should mention this one other tiny thing. This particular
school system assigns the homework TO THE PARENTS!!! Yeah, now there’s a
smart idea. It’s not enough that they went through school once. Now they
have to do so again because the kid has no time left to PLAY???!!!!!

You have to read this to believe it. I still don’t. What a crock.

Twilight Zone: Ban On Homework or How Junior Got His Job At McDonalds

SAN JOSE, Calif. Alarmed by indicators of student stress like
cheating and substance abuse a handful of Bay Area schools are reducing
an education staple: homework.

Critics say homework steals time that increasingly-busy children need
to play or spend with family. Homework proponents argue that it teaches
students to be more responsible and manage their time.

And now back to the real world……Twilight Zone out.

I’ve heard of Cat in the Hat and Cat-astophy but Cat in a Bag is new and
yet strangely familiar. Haven’t you ever seen a cat that was so curious
that she/he just had to check out that open sack? Yep, I thought so.
There’s one in every cathouse….er, home with a cat. But, I have to
admit, it’s just possible that these folks are taking it a tad too far.

Seems that this fast food chain in Tampa, Florida, has decided to adorn
our wonderful furry creatures at home….with a takeout food bag that is
specially cut so Tabby and Morris can put their tails and legs through
and strut around like they had on a basketball jersey and a chain. So,
now they want you to actually have a "cool cat", right?

Might be a nice deal except that the animal cruelty folks got into the
game and think it’s a cruel joke on the furry folk. Could be. Of course,
it’s really possible the fashion just doesn’t cut it for Tabby and
Morris anyway. They are certainly fashion conscious. Oh, you don’t think
so? Did you WANT him in that sack? If so, he won’t do it. Tail up, walks
around like he owns the whole place, can’t be bringing himself low
enough to check out the bag. Or if you don’t want her to get into the
sack, there she is. She has decided to have her whole litter right there
on your bed in the sack. Just try and get her to change her mind. HA!

Twilight Zone: Cat In A Bag

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - Animal control authorities are not amused by a
fast food chain’s marketing stunt encouraging customers to dress their
cats in a special take out bag.

Tampa-based Checkers Drive-in Restaurants Inc. is distributing
"Rapcat" bags designed with cutaway areas for the cat’s legs and tail.
The cat’s head sticks out the opening of the bag, which is designed to
look like to a basketball jersey and gold chain worn by the hip-hop
Rapcat puppet in Checkers commercials.

And that’s all folks! Meow!

Twilight Zone: TALKING urinal cakes at that. HUH? Whazzat? Yeah, my
reaction too but you will see that New Mexico is serious about this. I
guess they ended up with one too many drunks around. Now they want to
make the drunks crazy or scare the…um, crap?…out of them. Here’s the
scoop, so to speak.

New Mexico has about had it with drunks coming out of bars and parties
and driving home so they bought 500 talking urinal cakes so that when
the unsuspecting drunk comes up to do what he needed to do, the motion
sensor in the plastic part of the cake would start to talk in a flirty,
female voice. If it hasn’t scared the crap out of the guy, then maybe it
startled him enough to get a ride since he is obviously having bizzare
visions and fantasies. The hoped for result would be a much more sober
person or a guy who gets a ride and finds a Psychiatrist in the morning.

Talking Urinal Cakes

RIO RANCHO, N.M. - New Mexico is hoping to keep drunks off the road
by lecturing them at the last place they usually stop before getting
behind the wheel: the urinal.

The state recently paid $21 each for about 500 talking
urinal-deodorizer cakes and has put them in men’s rooms in bars and
restaurants across the state.

When a man steps up, the motion-sensitive plastic device says, in a
woman’s voice that is flirty, then stern: "Hey, big guy. Having a few
drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it’s time to call a cab or call
a sober friend for a ride home." The recorded message ends: "Remember,
your future is in your hand." (ARE THEY KIDDING ME????)

I should mention one small, tiny detail here for those who have never
been around a drunk. In my experience (seen lots of drunk truckers off
duty), the drunk usually isn’t as nice as they would like to think. A
bunch of them would go outside and, um….go. Hence, no talking urinals.
But then, maybe they have something there. Scared sober works too.

And that’s it from the Twilight Zone for now.

Twilight Zone: Here we are again. This time is sort of a tribute to
Valentine’s Day. I was searching around the net and found this wild
story about Chocolate dresses. Apparently, they have fashion shows with
such things!! Who would have thought that you could construct AND WEAR
chocolate anything??!!! I am blown away by it. And despite the fact that
I have never heard of this before, it’s been going on for years. Who’d a
thunk it?

The problem I have is figuring out how in the world can someone wear
such a thing and not have it melting all over the place. Apparently, it
works, however they accomplish it.

Chocolate Clothing Styles

NEW YORK (CNN) — Scrumptious fashions, including a corset that melts
in your mouth and pearls you can eat one by one, were unveiled this week
at a special preview of the Chocolate Show.

The edible styles are part of a special exhibit featuring 12 dresses
made in chocolate by famous designers. Dark, light and white chocolate
are shaped into evening wear, jewelry — even a wedding dress for the
candy show.

On the other hand, it isn’t just the style in clothing. Oh no. You can
also find chocolate centerpieces as well. Completely done in chocolate,
they dress up a fine dinner table. They more or less resemble an ice
carving in construction but look nothing like ice since they are done in
yummy chocolate. For us chocoholics, this could be the dream come true
or pure torture, depending on how you look at it. And, look at it is all
you can do, blast it!!! As soon as I finish this, I am going in and find
my stash of Hersheys.

Edible
Art

Decoration or dessert? If it’s a centerpiece made of chocolate, it
could be both. Like ice carvings, chocolate sculptures can dress up a
buffet table or impress party guests. Chocolate has an added advantage
over ice: At room temperature, it won’t melt into a puddle by the end of
the evening.

Thank you once again from the Twilight Zone: Chocolate.

Twilight Zone: This time it’s about fake and not-so-fake furs. Nothing
will turn my stomach faster than a story about inhumane treatment of
children or animals. There was a story, straight from the twilight zone,
that stated this…most of the fake or faux furs are not fake. They are
made from dog fur. It is truly disgusting what companies and
corporations will do to make a buck. In this case, most of those who
place these furs in the stores apparently had no idea that they were
like that. Well known places like Macy’s, Burlington Coat Factory, Lord
and Taylor, Saks Fifth Avenue and celeb lines are all finding that they
are selling dog fur. In fact, when the humane society tested the
so-called fakes, 24 of 25 were actual animal fur. This is gross,
outrageous and inhumane. What we have here is people are dropping the
ball. No one is checking the fakes…at least until the humane society
decided to do so.

For more information on this story, please go to:

Fur
Advertised As Fake Actually Came From Dogs

Feb. 9, 2007 — From the runway to the racks of mass retailers, fake
fur is all the rage. But a recent investigation by the Humane Society
found that what’s labeled and advertised as faux fur isn’t always fake.
In testing a sampling of coats, they found that 24 out of 25 samples
were mislabeled — most contained the fur of a raccoon dog, a dog that
looks like a raccoon.

We need to call the retailers and let them know we will not buy such a
product. Let someone know that this is not acceptable. That’s all for
now from the Total Peanut.

Twilight Zone: Wonder Spot

First things first. Ever hear of a gravity vortex? Seems that little
scientific wonder is where all the rules of gravity simply do not work.
In this case, it is a cabin where people can’t stand up straight, water
runs uphill and chairs balance on two legs or so they say. The structure
has been a tourist attraction for quite a number of years.

Unfortunately, this particular Wonder Spot has been sold and is about to
be bulldozed. The owner sold the property to the town that wants to put
in a road. Of course, you would think that someone would want to try out
the spot before putting a road there. What happens if they carve a road
into the spot where people couldn’t stand up straight, for instance? Are
there going to be cars leaning this way and that when they venture into
the area? You would think that this town would want to explore that
question, wouldn’t you?

Ah well. This Wonder Spot is part of a list of mystery spots around the
country. For the whole story, please go to:

ABC news: Wonder
Spot

Thank you for venturing into the Twilight Zone with me once again. Happy
mystery to you!