Okay, this one is so stupid and ridiculous, it actually does not bear repeating….but I will anyway. This is to show exactly how asinine some people can get.

There was this guy in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, who was somewhat drunk. He was in a place called The Lumberyard II when he wanted dances with a girl…lap dances. He tried to have them without paying. See, the lap dances are $25 each. Sort of steep, isn’t it? Oh heck, how would I know. In my MUCH younger years, I had a husband who liked watching such things and I ended up with him on one or two of those jaunts. As you can tell, he is a EX-husband for many reasons including that one.

So, anyway the guy steals 8 lap dances. They tell him to pay. NO WAY! The police come and arrest this guy for….fifth-degree theft and public intoxication. Oh brother.

And now for the totally ridiculous, which I might add, I try to find for
this particular blog whenever possible. Seems a man tried to rob a bank.
Took a note to the teller demanding money. Apparently, he was on the way
to do the same thing again when the police caught up with him. When he
discovered the police were after him, he got the note out and attempted
to chew and swallow. Guess he needed some water with that? The officer
tried to get the note from the alleged robber by putting his fingers
into the guy’s mouth. Not a great idea. Barney got bit.

Uh, one thing about this story that puzzles me. It’s in the second
paragraph. Can you explain it to me cuz I shure don’t git it. Maybe it’s
the Arkie thing. Been here too long and all that? Nah. So, the relevance
of this statement is what again?

Don’t Take The Note From The Bad Guy

MUSKEGON, Mich. - A man who police say tried to eat a bank robbery
note and then bit a police officer is facing felony charges. Leland
Snyder, 24, of Muskegon, is charged in the March 2 robbery of a LaSalle
Bank after police say he passed a teller a note demanding money. He also
is charged with resisting and obstructing police causing injury.

There was no telephone listing for Snyder in Muskegon.

Authorities think Snyder was on his way to rob another business when
Muskegon Heights police caught him Wednesday.

Police said he reached into his waistband, brought out a piece of
paper and tried to eat it. When a police officer attempted to retrieve
the note from Snyder’s mouth, he was bitten on the thumb.

Frankly, the only reason that I am putting this one up tonight is
because it comes from where I was born and raised. I no longer live
there but I am familiar with the place these people are living in. At
the time I lived there, the Lend-A-Hand was a place where people could
stay if they had nowhere else to be, sort of like a hotel but much
cheaper. Apparently, the owners have turned it into a retirement home.
This story is neither funny nor is it bizzare although that is how it
was noted when I picked it up. I do wonder if the guy is kinda nuts
though.

This is a very short story. A man tried to hit someone over the head
with a hammer. He was arrested and faces attempted murder charges. The
man is 76 and the woman he tried to hit is 81. They were having an
argument. There is no cutoff date as to when a person isn’t violent, is
there?

Man Held For Hitting Woman With Hammer

DAVENPORT, Iowa - An elderly man was arrested at his retirement home
Monday after allegedly striking a fellow resident in the head with a
hammer. Richard Edison Johnson, 76, is charged with attempted murder. He
is accused of striking Elizabeth Alwine, 81, who was hospitalized in
serious but stable condition, officials said.

Both were residents of the Lend-a-Hand retirement home in Davenport.
Johnson and Alwine were in the smoking area of the building when an
argument between the two became violent, said Davenport police Capt.
David Struckman.

Johnson was being held Monday afternoon in the Scott County Jail.

Sad, isn’t it. A person works all their life only to end up in jail in
the last years because of a more than likely stupid argument.

Twilight Zone: Body Parts Delivery. And I thought the post office was
messed up!! DHL delivered packages containing some human body parts to a
residence instead of to the medical facility that it was supposed to go
to. The strange part? Well, that was, naturally. But there’s more. The
driver thought the bubble-wrap items were pieces to a table.

Seems the husband starts to unwrap the packages and sees what appears to
be a liver!! Gross! They called the sheriff’s office. So would I, after
the screaming, of course. Oh yeah, the rest of the body parts? Some
twenty eight packages? Gonna show up all over the country. It’s going to
be an interesting mail day for several days.

Twilight Zone: Body Parts Delivery

CASCADE TOWNSHIP, Mich. - Two packages containing human body parts -
including a liver and part of a head - meant for a medical research lab
instead were delivered to a home.

The body parts, sent from China, were mistakenly dropped off Thursday
at Franck and Ludivine Larmande’s home by a DHL express driver who
believed the bubble-wrapped items were pieces to a table.

"My husband started to unwrap one and said, ‘This is strange, it
looks like a liver,’" Ludivine Larmande said. "He started the second
one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear.

"Something wasn’t right. It was scary, and I’m glad I didn’t open
them."

The couple called Kent County sheriff’s deputies, who determined the
preserved body parts were for medical research, Lt. Roger Parent said.

Say what??? It seems that in Pekin, Ill., there was a law stating that
cars had to keep a light on after they were parked for the night if they
were on the street. Naturally, that left folks with dead batteries and
hot collars for decades. Then, of course, there was the ticket that went
with not complying, $10. Now, that could get a bit pricey after a while.

These folks lived with this nonsense for years. Has someone asked why
the same folks that made this law got elected year after year??? These same
people voted against dropping the asinine law because they felt that it
would keep the junk off the street. Someone PLEASE tell me how that
works because all I can see is a bunch of folks who do not have
driveways and garages having to fork out either cash for a jump or $10
for the fine for endless years. Ah, but the city got rich, didn’t it?

Cars
Don’t Need Lights Now

PEKIN, Ill. — Turn out the lights.

While the party may not be over, the law has been changed in the
central Illinois town of Pekin. For decades, an ordinance required that
all cars parked on city streets after dark keep a light on. People
complained the law left cars with dead batteries and motorists with
short tempers. Many risked a $10 ticket rather than having to get a jump
start in the morning.

Today, up for the Truly Stupid award are three thief wannabes. They were
attempting to enter a residence, evidently to steal from the owners,
when they encountered a problem….a locked door. Being the enterprising
souls that they were, they rang the bell. DUH!!!

True Stupidity Award-Three thief wannabes

BRANDON, Fla. - So much for stealth. Authorities said a trio trying
to open a locked door alerted a sleeping homeowner when one of them rang
the doorbell. Homeowner Samuel Sanchez, 35, confronted the burglars
about 11:30 a.m. Monday, one of whom was still trying to open the door
with a pocket knife, Hillsborough County sheriff’s deputies said. The
men ran, according to the St. Petersburg Times.

Deputies arrived moments later and arrested three teen suspects,
including one found hiding in a trash bin. They were all charged with
attempted burglary.

Lesson for today…if you decide to do something truly stupid, like
steal from someone, DON’T RING THE BELL!!! Unless, of course, you like
the idea of spending time in the greybar inn. Nice place. Right.

Twilight Zone puts the light on WallyWorld and their new shoplifting
policy. Seems that if you shoplift less than 25 bucks, you are older
than 65 or younger than 18, you can have it and they won’t do a thing.
WOW! Time to go load up, guys!

Wal-Mart’s
Shocking new Shoplifting Policy

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, WakeUpWalMart.com, as reported by the New
York Times, revealed a new internal document which detailed Wal-Mart’s
recent changes to the company’s shoplifting policies.

The new changes abandon Sam Walton’s policy of ‘zero-tolerance,’ in
favor of a new policy which tells workers not to stop shoplifters for
items under $25. The internal Wal-Mart policy document was given to
WakeUpWalmart.com by a former Wal-Mart worker who is deeply concerned
with the negative effect this policy will have on other Wal-Mart
workers, the company, and the community.

According to the internal Wal-Mart document, the new shoplifting
policy has changed from “Shoplifter Apprehensions” to “Investigation and
Detention of Shoplifters.” In particular, the new shoplifting document
explains to Wal-Mart workers that “the guidelines for prosecution of
shoplifters have changed: the retail value of the merchandise recovered
must exceed $25, and the suspected shoplifter must be at or between the
ages of 18 and 65.”

The change in shoplifting policy is a dramatic departure from Sam
Walton’s policies. Sam Walton believed shoplifting was “one of the
biggest enemies of profitability in the retail business,” and even
linked employee bonuses to reducing the shrinkage in each Wal-Mart store.

Isn’t it time for WallyWorld execs to get a grip and get back to the
pride and values that Sam Walton had when he started that business? They
have gone so far in the other direction, it will take major changes in
policy quite unlike this type of change to make a difference. It may be
the biggest retailer worldwide but whoever is currently at the helm is
not running the show the way Walton had in mind. That is for certain.
When are they going to get a clue that it takes more than making gobs of
money and ripping off the public to make a good business. It takes
something that is definitely lacking in Wally business….integrity.

.

Twilight Zone: Ban on homework! San Jose, Calif. has gone totally nuts.
They have decided that student stress is too much and homework is the
culprit. They did leave alone reading, catch-up work and special
projects. Oh please. According to "those in the know" (I have no idea
WHAT they know. Apparently not much) homework "steals" the time the
children would be playing. Well BOO HOO. Are these people for real? One
thing. The parents that are particularly upset are in the wealthy
communities. Not a surprise there. Junior, born with the golden serving
spoon planted firmly in his incredibly huge mouth, complains that he has
too much homework, doesn’t have time to play the latest version of
"Grand Theft Auto".

Oh yeah, I should mention this one other tiny thing. This particular
school system assigns the homework TO THE PARENTS!!! Yeah, now there’s a
smart idea. It’s not enough that they went through school once. Now they
have to do so again because the kid has no time left to PLAY???!!!!!

You have to read this to believe it. I still don’t. What a crock.

Twilight Zone: Ban On Homework or How Junior Got His Job At McDonalds

SAN JOSE, Calif. Alarmed by indicators of student stress like
cheating and substance abuse a handful of Bay Area schools are reducing
an education staple: homework.

Critics say homework steals time that increasingly-busy children need
to play or spend with family. Homework proponents argue that it teaches
students to be more responsible and manage their time.

And now back to the real world……Twilight Zone out.

You ain’t seen nuttin yet! This time, Clifton, N.J., is apparently tired
of hearing dogs barking. They are making a law to LIMIT the barking time
per dog. Okie dokie, anyone mention this to the dogs in question?
Doubtful. Someone needs to go out and get a reaction from the canines.
What do you suppose they’re going to think about it? I can see the ACLU
getting into this. Dog abuse. No longer allowed to express opinions.
It’s a free country!! I am willing to bet there will be class action
lawsuits about this soon. The dogs will not tolerate this. Why? Because
the cats can say any darn thing they want, that’s why.

Muzzle The Mutts

(AP) The city of Clifton is not going to the dogs. At least not if
the City Council has anything to do about it. Later this month, the
council is expected to introduce an ordinance setting a limit on how
long dogs can bark. Noisy canines will be defined as those that bark for
more than 30 minutes on two consecutive days.

I’ve heard of Cat in the Hat and Cat-astophy but Cat in a Bag is new and
yet strangely familiar. Haven’t you ever seen a cat that was so curious
that she/he just had to check out that open sack? Yep, I thought so.
There’s one in every cathouse….er, home with a cat. But, I have to
admit, it’s just possible that these folks are taking it a tad too far.

Seems that this fast food chain in Tampa, Florida, has decided to adorn
our wonderful furry creatures at home….with a takeout food bag that is
specially cut so Tabby and Morris can put their tails and legs through
and strut around like they had on a basketball jersey and a chain. So,
now they want you to actually have a "cool cat", right?

Might be a nice deal except that the animal cruelty folks got into the
game and think it’s a cruel joke on the furry folk. Could be. Of course,
it’s really possible the fashion just doesn’t cut it for Tabby and
Morris anyway. They are certainly fashion conscious. Oh, you don’t think
so? Did you WANT him in that sack? If so, he won’t do it. Tail up, walks
around like he owns the whole place, can’t be bringing himself low
enough to check out the bag. Or if you don’t want her to get into the
sack, there she is. She has decided to have her whole litter right there
on your bed in the sack. Just try and get her to change her mind. HA!

Twilight Zone: Cat In A Bag

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - Animal control authorities are not amused by a
fast food chain’s marketing stunt encouraging customers to dress their
cats in a special take out bag.

Tampa-based Checkers Drive-in Restaurants Inc. is distributing
"Rapcat" bags designed with cutaway areas for the cat’s legs and tail.
The cat’s head sticks out the opening of the bag, which is designed to
look like to a basketball jersey and gold chain worn by the hip-hop
Rapcat puppet in Checkers commercials.

And that’s all folks! Meow!