There were a few leftover Steven Wright jokes from the other posts. Here
are a couple more:

I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I
got there.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like
I’m the only one moving.

My neighbor has a circular driveway… he can’t get out.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment
somewhere.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and
sang Happy Birthday.

It’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don’t have that much
time.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?