I am going to say absolutely nothing else.

=============================

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don’t have a ‘P’.

"Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "’P’ on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I’m not going to do that!"

—–

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The
tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that’s a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is
working fine."

——

Customer in computer shop: "I’d like a mouse mat, please."

Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we’ve got a large variety."

Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

——

Customer: "My computer crashed!"

Tech Support: "It crashed?"

Customer: "Yeah, it won’t let me play my game."

Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

Customer: "No, it didn’t crash - it crashed."

Tech Support: "Huh?"

Customer: "I crashed my game. That’s what I said before. I crashed my
spaceship and now it doesn’t work."

Tech Support: "Click on ‘File,’ then ‘New Game.’"

Customer: [pause] "Wow! How’d you learn how to do that?"

——-

Email from a friend: "CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?

——

Tech Support: "All right…now double-click on the File Manager icon."

Customer: "That’s why I hate this Windows - because of the icons - I’m a
Protestant, and I don’t believe in icons."

Tech Support: "Well, that’s just an industry term sir. I don’t believe
it was meant to-"

Customer: "I don’t care about any ‘Industry Terms’. I don’t believe in
icons."

Tech Support: "Well…why don’t you click on the ‘little picture’ of
filing cabinet . . . is ‘little picture’ OK?"

Customer: [click]